Writer | Entrepreneur | Blogger | Dreamer | Pro-Oxford Comma; Feel free to check out my blog at www.serendipityandsuch.com

Finding value in who I am rather than what I’m able to produce

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Photo by Dom Aguiar on Unsplash

After news that many of us would need to go into self-isolation back in March due to the COVID-19 virus, I had a more positive outlook at the time. Like so many other citizens, I thought that after maybe a month things would subside and we would go back to our regularly scheduled programs of working in-office, having large gatherings, and preparing for summer. However, as the month of April progressed it was pretty evident that this wouldn’t be as clear cut as we thought.

As if planning a wedding wasn’t enough, I was keeping pretty high expectations for myself. After all, I figured out how to keep myself focused while working remotely (after working remotely magically became an option for me for the first time). And I knew I would have more time to spare because I was no longer making time for an hour-long commute to the office. …

A positive highlight to a seriously bizarre year

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Photo by Alekon pictures on Unsplash

Here’s an understatement: 2020 is not at all what anyone expected.

Back in December, we were hearing motivational speeches, sermons, and posts about how 2020 is going to be the year of ‘perfect vision’. When you really think about it, they weren’t entirely wrong. It may not be in the passion-filled package that we believed it to be, but 2020 has definitely been an eye-opener if nothing else.

I’ve been busy with a lot of things since the pandemic started, one happened to be a huge life change.

Dating — 2019

In the span of 13 months my now husband and I met, dated, and got engaged. Followed by that short engagement (3.5 …

The things we should (and shouldn’t) focus on

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Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash

I’m not watching any more murder videos. I refuse.

There are too many triggering elements to count when it comes to the killing of Ahmaud Arbery. A 25-year-old Black man goes on a jog, as he usually does, only to be literally stalked and hunted by White men hellbent on conducting an unjust “citizen’s arrest”. Their reason for hunting him down? They believed he was a suspect in a burglary. They claimed that there had been recent reports of a burglary in their neighborhood. They wanted to detain him until authorities could arrive.

But there were no recent reported burglaries in the neighborhood. …

Who needs a check-in and who doesn’t?

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Photo by Mohau Mannathoko on Unsplash

Some of my friends are taking self-isolation harder than others. Others don’t seem to be taking it hard at all. And then there are others who seem to be taking it well, but really are just carrying the load of being ‘the strong friend’.

Self Isolation and ‘Real Friends’

In early April, actress Tia Mowry came under fire after tweeting about what it means to have ‘real’ friends in the midst of the pandemic. Mowry was quick to delete the tweet after the massive backlash, but it did bring to light a mentality that too many of us have during this time.

The mindset, to be frank, is self-absorbed. Of course, we all want to feel loved and we want to feel that our friends and family care about us. However, to suggest that a friend who isn’t constantly checking-in on you isn’t a “real” friend is short-sighted. This mindset suggests that the pandemic is only affecting you and fails to acknowledge that it is affecting everyone else, including your “real” friends. …

No, it doesn’t mean abandoning your common sense

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Photo by Pedro Lima on Unsplash

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing a number of reactions to the rise of the COVID-19 pandemic, especially in the U.S. While things seem to be improving in countries like South Korea, the United States now leads the world in confirmed new cases.

People are torn on how to feel. How many of us are overestimating it? How many of us are underestimating it? Are all the circulating memes a sign of not taking things seriously, or is humor the only way most of us know how to cope with the hardship and uncertainty of what’s going on?

I’m a Christian; I hope that’s not news to my current readers given some of my previous content. …

It took a pandemic to help me realize that I’m not as focused as I thought I was

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Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash

Whether it’s a coping mechanism or not, there are people who are looking at the COVID-19 pandemic as an opportunity to be as productive as they can possibly be.

Others, like myself, still want to be productive and keep themselves active, all while working from home. I’ll be honest, I haven’t had the chance to truly ‘work from home’ since my first job out of school. And even then, I found it too frustrating to do to the point where I would just end up going to the office anyway. …

One of the many concerns I face as I venture into the latter half of my twenties

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Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

By the time my mom was my age she had been married for a few years, had my older sister, and myself. I don’t tell her and dad enough, but they did a very great job at raising us; 10/10 would recommend.

As time goes on, I’m already aware that kids aren’t going to come into the picture for me until my 30’s, which is fine. I do question if I can pull it off as well as they did though.

It will be an interesting environment, as I know many of my peers will have already stepped into new parenthood. My sister and I used to joke around and say that by the time we have children, our friends’ children will be able to babysit ours. Seeing that now her child is almost two years old while her best friend’s child just turned eight, this will definitely be our reality. …

And the reasons why we should hang it up altogether.

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Reading between the lines has never been my strong suit. I’m a very straightforward person, and I usually need straightforward interaction. I don’t like being uncertain of anything, I like to know where people stand.

Because of this, I can honestly say I’ve never been ‘good’ at dating. How could I be? I had the expectation that people will just be straight up with me about how they’re feeling at all times. But quickly I found out that, in most instances, this would not be the case.

People describe dating as a ‘game’ and, unfortunately, I’m not good at those either. One aspect of this ‘game’ that I find absolutely unacceptable, however, is the idea of playing “hard-to-get”. The concept is dated, confusing, and makes it a hell of a lot harder to explain consent to people. …

Acknowledging my struggle does not mean I am disregarding yours

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Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

The hostility just came out of nowhere.

I was scrolling along my Facebook news feed when I came across an eye-catching photo. A beautiful and stylish Black woman is sitting with her gaze away from the camera. She holds a cardboard sign with rough writing that reads “Date who you want, but STFU about Black women”.

This image, of course, isn’t so much about interracial dating as it is about interracial dating without feeling the need to blatantly bad-mouth and disrespect Black women. …

We will not come to an agreement about his work, and that is perfectly fine.

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Tyler Perry attends the premiere of “A Fall From Grace” at Metrograph; Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

I haven’t watched a Tyler Perry film in years.

That isn’t to sound bourgeois, it’s just the truth. I remember enjoying the Madea stage plays and movies with my family members, making jokes and quoting the comical characters with my friends. There was definitely a time when I found his films enjoyable.

But eventually, I just got tired of it.

It felt like I was seeing the same plot repeatedly. There’s always a struggling God-fearing Black lady, usually with a lot of emotional pain due to abuse. …

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